How to safely pick up soap in a prison shower

Tip 1) The Cover Hole – If you’re picking up a bar of soap with your left hand, kick up your left leg as well. This creates distance between you and your unwanted sexual partner. Now place your right hand over your cornhole as you reach down. The whole process should take under two seconds.

Tip 2) Kick Trick – This is good for those of you who have played soccer, or just have good coordination. Using the front of your foot, flick the soap into the air and prepare for a quick grab. Or if you want to get fancy for the now lathered up inmates, you can try some behind the back action. For behind the back kick tricks, you’ll need to use the bottom of your foot.

Tip 3) Wall Crawl – If you’ve dropped the soap anywhere near the wall and lack agility to perform the previous tips, then this will be perfect for you. Place your back against the wall and use your leg strength to lower you. Once you’ve grabbed the soap you should use this technique in reverse until you are in an upright position.

Conclusion: No one plans on going to prison but shit happens. And that same shit will be running down your leg everytime you play basketball, if you don’t use our guide.